It's all about discipline

 Oh. I missed 11 days! So, November Challenge comes to an end, and I wrote 19 posts, and that's it. No comments.

In other news, I got Google Hangout scammed! What was I thinking? How /which company in their right mind would chat interview when they can just schedule a call or Google Meet? However, why didn't the scammer pursue me? Is it because I'm from a third-world country? Not fair.

Changing the subject. I miss old-fashioned competitions where the judges evaluate and decide on the winners. That was so easy. Now, for each and every contest, you need to vote. Ha! It's just a trick to increase SEO. If our votes count, what the hell are you doing, judges? And why make it complicated? Why should we log in to your website and comment? A website riddled with advertisements and cookies at that. What is the point?

Bye November. And thanks for the Challenge. I shall continue the rants.😁

challengemanspirit

So, I didn't blog last four days, thus losing November Challenge set by myself. In that case, will the blogs I post this month be labeled as NovChallege or not?

Christmas movies are being flooded on Netflix, and I watched 'Falling for Christmas.' I've seen most of the films of Linsay Lohan, and watching her perform after a lengthy career break is ....meh. It's an okay movie with fewer people, mild people, blinding Christmas decorations, a predictable end, and less drama. The only thing I found irritating is the meddling magic of Santa Claus.

In other news, why is it terribly painful to dress up and go out to buy some fruit?

In some parts of the world, recruiters use Google Chat to interview candidates! A chat interview. Why not set up Google Meet or a Zoom call?

Please vote

Competition is not about participating. It's all about winning. So, Pepper decides to compete. A paid competition. You pay a certain amount to participate in the competition. Okay! And she got selected, of course. She's one of the 100 shortlisted competitors from, say, 10,000 entries. Cool. Now, for the next and final step, we must vote for her. You cannot just click the link and vote. You must log in to their website and comment. Each comment is equal to 10 points. One person can comment only once. That's voting. WHAT? 50% votes from judges and 50% from the audience. 

Who would take the trouble of registering to a website to comment or vote? 

Who would vote for Pepper?

This is so annoying. The voting stage seems to be the real competition. Pay, vote, and win?

Dearies, I'm begging you, please register, comment and thus help Pepper win. Plzzzz

I'd never ever ignore any plea for voting hereafter.🙏

Not your circus, darling

What if I changed my career? I'm not stuck!

What if  I took big and small career breaks? I'm still working

What if I'm slow? I'm steady!

What if I don't fit your bill? I'm not trying to!

What if I'm not a young thing? I'm not yet dead!

........... not your monkeys either, honey.

famous mother-bullies

Content is God. Exaggeration is the key. But why drag your mother to your business? It's funny, your jokes about your mommy, to some extent. Look at you! You are an Insta Influencer. Because of your mommy content. Your alter ego is your mom. You are sort of famous because of your mother. The irony.

I'm so tired of these influencers. Whom and what are they influencing with constant mom teasing? The Delhi-Malayali comedian, the Delhi-Malayali Insta Influencer, the Canadian-Indian You tuber, the DXB-Malayali CoolAunty, the U.S.-Malayali English teacher.... the list is endless.

Shame on you, perfect children!

the ship that never sinks; sailed, still in the radar

So, we video talk after eons and, yeah, exchange tons of data, and hmmm, nothing has changed; it's just like the way we talked when we were 17. 

Why would we change?

She lives on another continent, owns a house and a cute dog, and is rich. Also diabetic recently. She can't pretend to be someone else. Neither can I. Won't that be stupid? We go way back and know each other way too well. Such a relief!

I've got a handful of friends with whom I can be myself, and they don't pretend as well.😍

How to change my friends to travel buddies? None of those idiots are into traveling. Ugh!

Frequently Not Answered Questions

1.  If the human body is a super machine, how come we are taught practically nothing much about our bodily functions, like periods, sex, childbirth, and death, in detail?
2. Why is sex education not a priority subject in middle school in India?
3. What could be the root causes of rape?
4. With a population of 1.4 billion, most of them sex-starved, why is prostitution not legalized in India?
5. What could be the real purpose of living and dying on this planet?

lessons learned

1.  Never buy fish from unfamiliar fish vendors. Especially the fish, Mackerel. They may look deceivingly fresh. Check their eyes. Pry open and inspect their gills. Touch their tummy to see whether rotten. Better, don't buy at all from strangers.
2. Always buy meat from the same butcher. Loyalty matters. Who wants to lose a regular customer?
3. People tend to trick, deceive, swindle or cheat money out of women living alone. A sad and bitter truth in this part of the world.
4. Avoid Jack of all trades. Specialty is the key.
5. You should know how to manage your handyman/maid, or employ smart, no nonsensical hustlers.
6. Humans generally walk all over and take kind and generous people for granted.
7. You will suffer greatly if you are hesitant to use 'NO' often. 
8. There's no such thing as 'well-wishers.' Parents exist.
9. People won't change for you; why would they? Choose your people wisely.
10. If you are a private person and hate conversation fillers, ask questions instead. People love answering.
11. No addiction is forever; you'll get tired of it and find a new one, even googling your symptoms- Cyberchondria won't last; I just googled the term!

Pet parenting nightmares

I'm a pet parent. A forced one. Once upon a time, I  pressurized my parents to get me a dog. Now, my kids forced me to get a dog for them. Karma is a dog, a male dog.

I'm not a dog person though I owned a dog. That's a story for another time. I'm not a cat person, either. I'm not a squirrel person though we once had a squirrel. I'm not a snake person though two snakes visited us in the dining room, car porch, under the carpet, near the kennel, and all over the place.

I'm totally against caging living things that can't speak and can be trained with food as bait. Pathetic.

No offense, but I find most of the dogs look like wolves, with their fiery eyes, sharp teeth, claws, thunderous barking, moanful howling, alarming agility, and hungry looks.

The darned creature can sense your fear! So unfair.

The gray cat took my freedom!

 Day 10

Most of the time, I forget the fact that apart from being NovemberBlogChallenge, this is also a JornalChallenge. So, how was the day?

• I collected the stitched clothes. Long bumpy journey. I may end up hating all kinds of traveling, it seems. So, back to dress, they're tight-fit; I decided not to change them but alter myself to fit into them. Not a good decision, worked a few times but not sure this time.
• I'm the proud owner of an Ivy plant with cream and green leaves. Only 2 leaves right now. This newfound interest in gardening is burning my clutch.
• There's a dead cat near the fence. It's gray. Gray cats signify independence. Dead gray cat means the death of freedom? Ha!
• Health update: Going out in day time gives me a headache, not sunburn these days.
• We watched the last episode of The Mentalist. I started a series with a long title: The woman in the house across the street.....

Hmmm. Can't complain. 

Don't give me vain hopes, recruiters!

So, I got this job offer email from a big gun company, requesting a zoom meeting for the position I never applied for. It took hours of research to come to the conclusion that it was the work of one of those job recruiters who matched my profile with this job and intimated the company and, thus, the interview. Health and wellness manager! And they would pay $32.75 hourly. Ha!

The zoom meeting. It was a zoom chat. But why? Who in their right mind would use zoom chat when you can just video call? Anyways, the chat ended pretty fast when the chatter found out my current location. The job is for US citizens only. Great!

Thus, I got a job offer for a job I didn't apply for and got rejected. Thankfully, all on the same day. But who will give me back the time I wasted prying on the darned company and searching the job portals I could've applied from? I went through all my applications to figure out the job description: glassdoor, indeed, Naukri, AngelList, monster job, talent.com, JobsForHer, LinkedIn, and even Internshala! I never applied for this job.

Leave it. What about the dreams and plans I've woven around this job? Money dreams.

There's a saying when translated into English, may sound weird. But let me try. "You may give somebody an elephant, but never hope. Does it make sense? To me, today, very much.

sappily forever!

"Two people marry so that they can experience life together."

Really?

The broken house- 2

The appliances. They break one by one. Almost all the devices are repaired and welded together. 

The microwave stopped heating. The motherboard (why not fatherboard?) got invaded by ants or roaches and moisture. A universal board was plastered on top of the panel because of the unavailability of original parts. You should see the universal microwave button panel! God!!

The fridge stopped cooling one hot day. The gas got over. Wow. We learned to live without it. And took the opportunity to scrub the machine thoroughly.

The wastewater pipe got clogged, and water rushed to the nearby outlet, the unused bathroom, and the whole house got flooded. Almost.

The TV plug melted. But, by the grace of the Supreme power, stopped there. The TV is still intact.

One night with the advice of Google Maps, a giant monster container truck took a detour along our lane and pulled and took our electricity connection cable in its wake, leaving us with no electricity for 2 days.

The washing machine suddenly developed an aversion to water and started pausing every 10 minutes and could care less to finish washing! Some tiny mischievous motor died. That was it!

The motor that magnanimously pulled and pumped water from the well to the water tanks needs water! For what? So ironic. On one terrible morning, the water inside the motor evaporated, and I didn't get any notification about that, mind you. The dutiful me switched on the motor, and the dry motor refused to suck water; therefore tank didn't overflow, and I totally forgot about switching off the motor for a long time, thereby causing a partial melting down of a few parts of the motor! Yeah.

Lightning and thunder. And excessive energy visited the inverter, and the m****board got electrocuted. So, when the electricity goes off, the house will be in complete darkness.

Haven't I covered almost all the gadgets? The all-time dripping taps? The many jointed, still leaking hose? The switchboards filled with mud deposited by ants? The doors that won't close? The outhouse waiting to collapse?

So, what's going on?

mother knows best

Why do grown-up children find it extremely challenging to talk to their mothers politely?

I can't stand my mother. I hate her advice. I dislike teaching her to operate her mobile. Her food choices are exasperating. She's snail-paced and takes loo breaks every 10 minutes. She wants me to color my hair which I won't.

I'm being incredibly patient with my mother. I suppress the urge to scream at her. I play her favorite old film songs for her whenever possible. I try to cook the way she wants whenever she visits. I help her cross the road. I won't straighten my curly hair again because it pains her. 

Sometimes I forget that she knows me better than I know myself. I can never really surprise her, can I? I see that she's very proud of me; not always, but most of the time. I know that she counts on me as her firstborn. And I am the nicest. Then, why do I need to make a huge effort to be sweet to her?

My children bark and howl at me. They laugh at my choices. Pepper thinks I have had a boring life and still have one. Mirchi hates to help me figure out the workings of this darned laptop.

Vicious circle? I know!

green (ugly) fingers

If anything, gardening teaches one to be patient. It demands eternal perseverance and humility. No amount of staring, caring, and loving won't make anything grow and flower within a week. And here, the foolish me planted tiny plantlings, wanting them to grow and be potful before my eyes! They need daily watering, manure, and trimming. More importantly, TIME.

Some classy plants refuse to grow from stem cutting. They are supposedly deep-rooted and propagate via roots only. That calls for nursery visits. Bloody plants can be expensive! 

Plantlings

Pots

Fertilizer

Pesticides

Growth enhancers

Tools

No free seeds, darling!

The broken house

How to keep an almost 40-year-old house in one piece and running? Something is broken every other day. What's the point of having your own house if you need to spend endless hours repairing and fixing things. How to keep a tab on the insects, bugs, and snakes who seem to be the real owners of this place!

Beware of snakes; it's their mating season.

Beware of bug infestation; it's raining.

Beware of dogs; they're in heat and also rabid.

Beware of itchy caterpillar invasion; they love wet moss.

Beware of centipede-millipede-endemic; they breed in dampness.

Beware of all kinds of creatures homeless because of heavy rain.

Bats. Cats. Ants. Beetles. Worms. Earth-worms. Crickets. Roaches. Lizards.

Houseful. 

Home less.

Serial-killing-time

Watch what you watch!

What am I watching these days?

Netflix: Gypsy. It's about the pretty shrink who crosses lines and gets involved in patients' lives dangerously close. Messy. Cringy. Loved the concept. Simply hate it. But still watching...

Amazon Prime: The Mentalist. CBI. FBI. The psychic and his team solve a murder in 30 minutes. Actually, it's a one-man show. Loved it before the inevitable coupling of the psychic and the chief. Yet still enjoying..

Hotstar: Industry. It's about money and power. I greatly appreciate no discrimination/equal opportunity cast. I don't understand most of the things happening. And still relishing..

What are you watching?

Ode to an old friend

Our friendship goes way back to when cell phones were a luxury. We parted ways but remained connected. Because of me. Solely on my efforts. I kept meeting her. I kept calling her. She never once rang me up in the last 16 years. She even forgets to save my number!

She is busy.

She is sick.

She has martial problems.

She is onto a new business.

She's building a new house.

Kids. Flood. Corona.

Fine. I'm calling it quits. The End. No more calls.

What if she invites me for her daughter's wedding? Of course, I'll go, silly. No, I won't be wearing a saree.

Until then, no calls. she's dead to me.

Welcome to the inside

Ignore the titles. They can be something anything  I pick up on the way. So, I'm back and challenging myself to write every day. November Challenge. 

It's been 5 years since I wrote here. How to begin again? They say journaling fires up creativity and is therapeutic. How so? Anyways, tiny steps, I'll start with recording daily events.

• The smart woman. I love my cute little domestic help. A no-nonsense hard worker who sighs every ten minutes. What makes her sigh so much? I wanted to ask. Better sigh than fart. Will she ever be happy?
• Tomorrow being All Soul's Day, I dutifully buy a bouquet and go to the cemetery invaded by like-minded middle-aged couples decorating the sleeping place of their dead loved ones. Phew! Obligation or being dutiful? The place is heavenly clean. No weeds, dead garlands, or melted candles. Nope, I'm not going to attend the service tomorrow.
• Apart from sending numerous applications, I completed an editing test, attended a Google interview, and even signed an NDA! I understood every word the talent acquisition manager said- UK English!
• Why did I purchase- one-time payment- Hemingway Editor for Windows? It's not suggesting or editing the way I want. And it is not part of the Word. It works as a separate entity. I hate cutting and pasting content. I detest Doc's suggestion mode as well.
• No gardening today. Hope it rains today, too; no signs so far. Who wears gloves while planting? My hands are ugly now. And I'm doubtful about my plant choices. Why won't they grow fast? Growth potion, anybody? I was horribly tempted to buy more plants but didn't.
• I killed a baby centipede. Inside. In the dining room. And the beetles are back. More killings. What's next?

Umm.. I shall start reading again. Tomorrow. Let's see.